He Hates His Gay Neighbor, But Not For Being Gay

Garage DoorDear Mik and Mike: I got my car stuck in the garage door and had to be nice to my gay neighbor for an hour before I could get it out with a shovel wrapped in a towel. I almost got stuck in the small space I had to partially climb through, all the while […]

Disgruntled Online Dater Wants To Know Who Pays

Espresso CupDear Mik and Mike: I am new to online dating and just moved to Northern California from Hawaii and need some advice. I know the next question in your mind: “Why?” Too lonely there and isolated. Anyway, I am trying to learn how the dating game works here. I went on a date recently and the woman met […]

Family Heirlooms: Art or Source of Ready Cash?

Gold NuggetDear Mik and Mike: I have a huge family problem and I need help. I just found out my sister has taken my dead mother’s gold jewelry and sold it at one of the places that advertises they will buy all your gold. Some of these pieces have been in our family for three generations […]

Teenage Girl Breaks Mom’s Toy

Happy Bee CartoonDear Mik and Mike: I need help with a huge problem. I’m a 14 year-old girl who lives with my mother. For the past two years she’s been leaving me home alone when she goes out. I really like to go through her things when she’s out – it’s really exciting. Last month I found […]

Bad Breath Masseur

GarlicDear Mik and Mike: Yesterday I had a massage from a person I go to regularly. For the first time since I have been going to him, he reeked of garlic. It was so bad it filled up the room with a nauseating smell. It was hard for me to relax or concentrate since I […]

Dissatisfied Baby Sitter Wants Out

DolphinsDear Mik and Mike: I am a grown man, but my major job is caring for a dolphin swim yoga guru’s three out of control children who make me very upset at times and I often lose my temper. It pays the bills and I get to live in a great place, eat good food […]

My Dog Bites Feet

Doggie NoseDear Mik and Mike: My dog goes after people’s feet. Every time someone either comes in or goes out he tries to nibble their shoes. He catches the leg down around the ankle with his paw and holds it so he can nibble better. This can scare people who don’t know him. The first time […]

Weeping in the Aisles

Grocery Store AisleDear Mik and Mike: I have a problem that doesn’t seem to ever get resolved. When I go into large grocery stores by myself, and shop for many items, I begin to weep. I can’t help it! I feel it coming on and try to muscle through it, but by the time my cart is […]

Is Watching Porn As Bad As My Girlfriend Says?

Porn Hurts Everyone BillboardDear Mik and Mike: I made an agreement with my girlfriend recently that I would no longer watch porn. She caught me watching it last night and I received quite a scolding. She was wondering why I was watching other girls having sex, and then she told me that I was cheating on her in […]

Heavy Metal Boyfriend

AC/DC SingerDear Mik and Mike: Here’s my problem. My boyfriend, who I’m very much in love with, loves heavy metal and I’m more of a singer/songwriter girl. When he plays AC/DC at top volume I have to leave the house! The problem is that the only time he does anything around the house like cleaning, his […]

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