Dear Mik and Mike: I am a 50+ year-old single woman. My friends tell me I’m attractive, and I’m definitely fun to be with. Since I’m not meeting anyone just going back and forth to work, I recently decided to try online dating. I’m too shy to respond to anyone, so I’ve figured out a great solution for myself. I’ve selected all the profile photos of the men I think are attractive, then printed them and made a collage, which I put on the wall next to my bed. I now have great “dreams” and I don’t have to worry about being rejected. I’m happy to share this technique with you because I think it will actually help a lot of single people. Love My Glue Stick
Now wait just one minute here, glue stick grandma. What happens when the top of the glue stick comes off in your vajayjay and it gets stuck in there? You could use the other end with the serrated dial, I suppose, but that could get turned in there and you would end up with glue all over your fingers. So let’s think about this a minute. The glue stick gets stuck in your vag, maybe way up there, maybe it’s sticking out a few inches. Being shy, it doesn’t sound like you would go rushing to the OB/GYN to get your glue stick removed. And what if you show your protruding glue stick to a friend, and she turns out to be the wrong friend, and you end up having to do her with your glue stick. And if you’re friend is a nice gay fellow (which seems unlikely), well I don’t get the feeling you want to go there. That said, I think your collage strategy is right on. Why waste time on a real man with a real pen*s, to which all sorts of complicated baggage is attached? No I think you’re on the right track. Let’s just lose the glue stick, okay?
Quite the sticky fantasy Mike’s got going! Almost as good as what you have working. You may have finally found a good use for online dating sites. May I suggest you sub out the glue stick for something more durable and less, well… sticky? We’d love to see your collage, so take a photo and email it to us – we really don’t want to touch the original. We’ll be recommending your method to lonely libidinous readers from now on.
Photo by JimmyMac2010