Dear Mik and Mike: I work very long and hard days solving complex problems. By the end of the day I look forward to reading some mindless crap that helps me relax so I can go to sleep. I have a thing about vampire stories. For some reason, many people feel as though they need to comment on my choice or reading, most of the time on how “low-brow” it is, and then proceed to tell me about some literary title THEY are reading. Invariably I have already read it. I’m searching for something to say to them that is not too rude, but also lets them know it’s none of their business. Any suggestions?
Dear Complex Problem Solver: When do you find the time to read the literary titles between solving complex problems and “sucking up” vampire stories? Suffice to say somehow you do. So, when your friends tell you about their latest literary conquest, you could say, “Yeah, I read that. I thought it really sucked. But (you say as you flagrantly shove your latest vampire book in their face), this really sucks. Ha Ha!” Then, baring your teeth, (I assume the canines are filed?), you lunge for their throat. It is doubtful they will ever question your literary (or other) tastes, or mess with your business in any fashion, ever again.
How about, “How nice. My Guatemalan housecleaner just read that to learn English! She loved it.” Why do you care anyway? They all read trash when no one is looking just like everyone else: “Oh, I read that in People, but I only read it when I’m getting my nails done.” By the way, I highly recommend the Sookie Stackhouse series.
Photo by Horia Varlan
People feel a constant need to comment on what other people do that’s different than what THEY do. Their way is always “better”. Without a doubt it’s an insecurity. I get cracks about my romance novels. I just ignore them and enjoy my book.