Crazy Woman With Barfing Dog Monopolizes the Bench

Dear Mik and Mike: I just got back from a quick lunch break, where I rode my bike to the local hippie store to get a burrito. They have a great bench in the front and I like to sit in the sun, eat my lunch, and watch the people. Today, the very long bench was entirely taken up by a bald hippie woman who had a blanket laid out for her partially balding small dog. There was only a little space left, so I sat where the blanket wasn’t. She gave me a really dirty look. While I was eating my burrito I overheard her talking to people passing by, who must have known her, and as they went into the store, she said, “Blessings to you” to everyone. Her dog was sick, so he was on a special diet, and she was afraid he was going to “get sick”, which I think meant something might come out from one of its ends. The woman wasn’t bald because she was having chemo, she’s bald because she shaves her head every day – I heard her tell someone. When she went into the store, I moved her blanket just a teeny bit so that my friend, a paying customer, could join me on the bench, which by the way, is long enough for five people under normal circumstances. When the bald woman came out, having bought nothing, she told us to move. She said her dog “needed the sun for his healing.” On cue, the dog threw up. How do these people who act “holier than thou” get away with it?

The Dalai Lama preaches compassion. Where is yours? Why not simply sit somewhere else? She seems obviously unbalanced, so engaging with her is passive aggressive. Why are you so triggered? We all reflect each other. What is it in her you see that you don’t want to see in yourself? Healthy things, places and people attract sick people, as well as dogs, it seems, so you’re always going to find weirdos hanging out at the natural food places. If you don’t want to interact with people like that you can stay inside your house and have your food delivered, or you can shop at the local grocery store where they probably don’t put up with hippies and barfing dogs.

Who made you the mayor of the hippie store? This is a very long letter griping about something that is only a minor inconvenience to you. My advice to you is to donate a little cash to your local animal shelter.

Photo by Noel Zia Lee