Dear Mik and Mike: I have been seeing the same psychotherapist for many years, more then I want to admit. She says we have made tremendous progress but I still feel shitty all the time. Actually, I’m not really sure she’s a psychotherapist because now she does strange things during our sessions. She wants to do weird healing rituals and I prefer to have someone to talk to, as I do not have any friends, or at least any who want to listen to me. I am scared to leave her and not sure if I should because she says we’re really getting to the core problems now which is why I want to run away. I read Mike’s Mizzy Method on your site, “Whatever you’re running from, just keep running”, I know that was a joke… I think? Was it? Anyway, running is much more comfortable to me right now. Should I continue to see her?
No.
Then look her up to see if she’s actually licensed. If she is, what she’s doing is borderline unethical. In addition, if you don’t feel comfortable with the connection you have with her, it is impossible to do therapy. Therapy, at the very least, requires a comfortable bond. Also, if all you want is someone to talk to, I’d suggest working on your social skills. It sounds to me as though the healing you need is out there, in the real world, not in a stuffy office. Anyway, the big secret to improving your social prowess is practice and mileage. Give yourself a goal: meet five people a day. Have three conversations a day. That sort of thing. Now stop wasting your money and go hit the cafes.
I’ll have to partially disagree with Mike on this one. Healing happens in many different ways. A lot of people have managed to snow their talk-only therapists so nothing ever happens. If she’s using some other ways to get your attention she may know you’re trying to snow her too, so try it a few times and see what happens. What’s the worst that could happen? You might get accidentally hit on the head with a rattle. Then go hit the cafes.
Photo by Prashant Zi
