Dear Mik and Mike: I hope you can settle an argument I’m having with my buddy. There’s a girl I’ve been kind of seeing, nothing serious yet, meaning I haven’t really touched her. A couple of days ago I sent her a text to see if she wanted to hang out this weekend. I didn’t hear from her so I called her and left her a voice mail asking if she got my text. My buddy says I’m a loser and I should let it go because if she were interested she would have texted me back. I think maybe she ran out of battery and that’s why she hasn’t gotten back to me. What do you think?
I don’t think you are a loser, but you haven’t been reading or studying or getting any of the wealth of information on this subject that’s widely available. As I always say, “Interest level is everything”. There are different levels of interest. Ideally you want to find or connect with someone who has high interest level in you. If someone is very interested they call you back. If someone is very interested they find time despite their impossible schedule. When someone is moderately interested you may get a moderate response. But when there is no interest there is no response. It’s as simple as that.
I’ve listened to Mike talk for years about Interest Level. He’s really right. You may not be a loser, but you’re getting a very valuable lesson. The less you go after the girl, the more interested she may become in you. Or she may have no interest at all, in which case you move on to the next one. As Mike’s father used to say at times like these, “Women are like busses. There’s another one at the next corner.” It’s plague of the human condition to want what you can’t have. If you have it, it seems less valuable. At least until you’ve attained some level of maturity. If you’re making excuses over a battery, you’re not there yet.
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