My Gasbag of a Girlfriend

Asian Girl SunglassesDear Mik and Mike: I am not sure if this is politically correct or not to talk about, but I have an Asian girlfriend who farts a lot. I thought they were usually demure and shy, but she is actually proud and tells me whenever she farts, and it is a lot! I thought she was faking as a joke, but hen I put my head down there one day and lo and behold, it was real! Is this normal?

 

Mike avatar

Wow, fantastic. It’s true not many women openly express their farts. And an Asian one? You have a real winner and keeper, my friend! Kudos to you for going down there to investigate to see it was a real fart or not. That does take bravery! Gas is a normal part of life. If it’s constant or excessive you may want to suggest charcoal pills. What is her diet like? That might have something to do it. But meanwhile you should celebrate in her personal creative expression of natural gases! Better to get it out then hold things, in I say. It’s great she is expressing herself!

Mik AvatarMy research tells me that men are very mixed on the subject of female farting. A “mountain man” type I know once told me, “I don’t care if I HEAR it, I just don’t want to SMELL it.” And this is from a guy who invented the “dutch oven”. Some men pretend not to care, but too much tooting destroys the female mystique for them. From your letter I can’t tell where you stand on the subject of female farting, but clearly you’re bothered enough to write. So what’s a girlie gasbag to do? First line of defense is always enzymes and charcoal. If the problem persists then I would suggest she be checked for candida and gluten intolerance, both causes of noxious fumes. But tread gently while making suggestions. She may love the freedom of openly expressing her digestive self, and choose to be free of you too. 

Photo by Harald Groven

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