Dear Mik and Mike: I’m new to the online dating thing and I’ve observed something that really has me steamed. I’m a woman who is no longer “young” but I’m in great shape and I still turn heads when I cross the street. Why is it that men, regardless of how they look – and I mean bald, old, chubby, missing teeth, and I swear – cross-eyed – always require a woman’s age to be between 25 and 45? Are they serious? Who are they kidding? On occasion I have read letters to you from men that I think fit this profile who are wondering why they can’t get a date. Are women my age requiring men to be 25? If this is working, I will change my requirements too because it would be really fun to be with a guy 25+ years younger than me. What’s your advice on this subject?
I think these men have unrealistic expectations, but at the same time you’re being too judgmental about it as well. Why do women always complain about older men with younger women? It’s the same type of woman as you are that goes with younger guys. Why is it OK for women to do this, according to women, and not OK for men? It’s so easy (and fun!) to judge others, and then to do the same thing they’re doing. When I travel to Africa and Bali I see many older women with young boys.
In African and Bali older women have sex with young boys? Is that like sex tourism for women? I will have to get more data on that. But back to your question. I’m afraid you’re up against an age-old bit of brutal discrimination and I don’t think it’s going to change. My advice to you is avoid dating sites, where people act like they’re writing a letter to Santa, “Santa please bring me a young, gorgeous woman with big knockers. Make her love me even though I’m an insensitive jerk, and please Santa, make her believe that intimacy means farting in bed”. Get out in the real world where you’ll get to know people slowly. You’ll find that a lot of those same men will be plenty happy to get some action from a woman who looks good and is fun to be with. I know for a fact these guys aren’t getting any play online.
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