Dear Mik and Mike: I just started dating a girl and things seem to be going reasonably well except for one thing: she wears a lot of perfume and it’s killing me. I’ve never been sensitive to perfume before, but this is a really sweet smell that gives me a horrible headache. I think it has a ridiculous name too – something like Panther or Python. A snake would never smell like that! In fact, I think I would prefer snake smell. How do I tell her I like my girls girl-smelling without hurting her feelings?
You hate her perfume. Big deal? Yes, it is. Women are very particular about what perfume they chose to wear. It’s a very personal decision based on one’s own taste, and telling your new girlfriend you don’t like her perfume is like saying to her “That outfit makes you look fat.” With that said, you may have a very honest out. The perfume in question gives you a headache. Plain and simple. There must be something in it that you are allergic to or are highly sensitive. Although there may be some other reasons as well why you don’t want her to wear it, stick to the medical facts and don’t bring up anything else about it you don’t care for and I bet you will come to an acceptable compromise. Be advised, you will most likely be asked to go perfume shopping with her in the following week to pick up a new scent (and you may want to ante up and offer to purchase her new selection as a gift).
That’s some fantastic advice, Mike! Some of your best yet. While you’re out shopping for a new scent, I’d like to suggest that you try some essential oils. Most of the time they won’t give headaches, in fact, they’re frequently used to cure them. There are blends of fragrances, and there are also some that are suspended in jojoba oil, which make them very light. Unfortunately for your girl, they have very boring names since they make these oils out of plants, not snakes. The most exotic you’re going to find might be vetiver, which I confess drives me wild. If you pick out something that drives YOU wild, I predict she’ll be more than happy to switch.
Photo by Stuart Heath
