Dear Mik and Mike: I met a woman the other day who seems really interesting. She’s attractive and funny and really sexy. I’d like to get to know her better, and I think she is thinking along the same lines about me. But here’s the problem. She has a fake arm with a fake hand. I can’t stop thinking about it. Does she take it off at night? Then what? I’m thinking I’d like to have kids one day – can she take care of a baby? Can I take her kayaking? To the beach? I don’t want to offend or embarrass her but at the same time I don’t want to act like I don’t see it. What do I do?
Wait just a minute. This is an adult woman you’re talking about… who seems to be able to take care of herself just fine with the fake arm. She might even wear makeup – that she puts on with the real hand. My advice is to ask her about it and let her tell you what life is like with a fake arm and hand. If you say she’s funny and sexy, I will bet she’s been through this before and probably has the confidence to deal with your curiosity. I have a project for you. For 24 hours, tie one arm behind your back with some straps. That should make your mind right.
My advice is to first go online and do some research. Find a forum and educate yourself and try to chat with others who have prosthetics and see how they feel about dating. I’m sure there will be discussions about what they can or can’t do. Then after you have the facts and figures, make an educated decision on how to proceed. It sounds like you are pretty uptight about it to begin with so you’re not off to a good start. If you’re uncomfortable about it, chances are you’re going to make her uncomfortable about it too. So get comfortable and forget about it.Photo by Scott Ogilvie