Fast forward to today when I got an email from the female friend of my live-in boyfriend. The original email was to him and her sister, planning a bike ride on her birthday for the three of them, and then a dinner at her place at 6:30 where I was assigned to bring the salad. I did not get the original email, but I guess she remembered me and then just forwarded the one in which I was plainly omitted. To say I was triggered is mild. I was shaking with rage. I know I’m triggered by the original event, but now I don’t want to go to her stupid birthday. What do I do?
Show up looking drop-dead sexy. If she’s excluding you from the scene, chances are she’s into him. On other hand, if you want practical advice, I would ask you to focus on your boyfriend rather than the bitch on the bicycle. I would ask your boyfriend why it is he holds exclusive relationships with other women—romantic or not. His connection to her, such as it is, is a grave insult to you and your relationship with him. Having a boyfriend with female friends is one thing, but having a boyfriend with female friends who actively exclude you is a totally separate issue.
Male dogs pee on things to mark them as theirs. I’ve always thought it’s an excellent strategy. I like Mike’s advice about showing up looking sexy, but I would tone it down a notch in this instance and just wear some hot shoes. Great shoes have a way of showing up a rival like nothing else. Make your boyfriend bring the damn salad! It’s his friend and you’re no servant. If you follow this advice, you’ll be setting some healthy boundaries. After the dinner, you need to find some time for a good heart to heart with your boyfriend. He needs to set his friend straight.Photo by Floyd Brown