Unbalanced Assets

Cupcakes

Dear Mik and Mike: My wife just got her wish of a fake set of boobs. She wore me down, and I paid for them. She’s really happy with them, but I notice that while the right one looks fine, the left one points really left and a little down. Do I tell her and risk her getting mad at me because I told her to leave well enough alone, or is this something that the doctor messed up and he should fix? Either way she’s going to have a meltdown unless I keep my mouth shut, but I’m sure one her friends will tell her eventually, then she’ll be mad because I didn’t notice. What do I do?

Mike avatarIt sounds like you have yourself a real conundrum. Also, you are a wuss. Are you afraid of your wife? That’s ridiculous. I would definitely tell her about the size differential. But are you sure the breasts weren’t like that before? Most breasts are often a little different. If you like, you can send us some photos here (before and after) for my personal review.

Mik Avatar

Tell your wife she’s beautiful and sexy, and tell her frequently. Follow up with some regular “appreciation”. She’ll probably notice her asymmetry eventually and you can act surprised, disbelieving, get out a ruler and a plumb bob, and the camera. The doctor will undoubtedly adjust her high beams and you won’t be remembered for being an insensitive jerk.

Photo by Kevin Rawlings

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