I May Have Disrespected a Dwarf

Little PersonDear Mik and Mike: Recently I was shopping in my local food store. There was a dwarf working there. When I put my goods up on the table she said, “Can you push them to me, I can’t reach them”. I felt like an idiot!  Was I politically incorrect? Or what kind of incorrect was [...]

How Does Karma Work?

KarmaDear Mik and Mike: How does karma work? I hear everyone talk about karma these days, from sports talk show hosts, to spiritualists, to common people. I was riding my bike today and someone went through a yellow light and almost hit me. Is that my karma? Is this because I have gone through many yellow [...]

The Correct Way to Measure the Johnson

RulerDoes every man know exactly how long his pen*s is? I’m a waitress, and after work last night all the guys were gathered around the bar talking about how long their d*cks were. They all seemed to have measured them and they were arguing about the correct way to do this. It seems so stupid. [...]

Men’s Room Protocol

Men's roomDear Mik and Mike: I’m a man with an unusual question for you about proper restroom protocol. Last week I was at a local restaurant and went to use the restroom. It was large enough for several people to use at once. As I was finishing up, an acquaintance of mine walked in. Normally, we [...]

Colon Cleansing at Work

Dear Mik and Mike: I was at a work meeting today where people discussed their colon cleansing. Apparently they’re all on some two-week program and they’re pretty pleased with the “outcome”. I couldn’t leave because I was the low man on the totem pole, but I was grossed out enough that I couldn’t eat my [...]

Stray and Unsavory Undies Left at the Gym

UndiesDear Mik and Mike: Yesterday I was at the gym and was just about to get onto the elliptical machine I use all the time. I go at around 6:00 every day, which is a busy time, so when I saw that the woman who had been using it was leaving I moved close so [...]

End of the World Conflicts With Bar Mitzvah

BlastDear Mik and Mike: I just read a very convincing piece by Family Radio that says the end of the world is on May 21, 2011. I have two problems: my cousin’s bar mitvah is scheduled for May 22, and also I was kind of preparing for a world end date in 2012. Do you [...]

Midget on a Segway

SegwayDear Mik and Mike: Yesterday afternoon I was on a bike ride with a friend and as we approached one of the small towns we go through, we saw a child, about six years old, on a Segway, riding in the bike lane. The Segway had been modified for his height and he was moving [...]

What’s the Fascination With Cher?

CherDear Mik and Mike: Why are gay men so obsessed with Cher? I don’t know if I would use the word “obsessed,” but I will say that Cher has quite the gay following. Cher is someone that gay men can relate to.  In her younger years, Cher was the woman who didn’t really fit in. [...]

Bright Yellow Pizza Restaurant Has Neighbor Seeing Red

Yellow WallDear Mik and Mike: The building across from where I work was just bought by a young couple who are in the process of turning it into a high-end pizza restaurant. They painted the building a brilliant yellow in high gloss paint. When the sun hits it, it’s blinding. The rest of the buildings on [...]

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